I’m lost
Can’t find myself
Trying, failing over and over
The world sees a different me
My feeling, my true feelings, difficult to express, no one can see
I’m drowning in my own dark, deep insides
I struggle to survive
Each day I try to hold on to one thing that may keep me going
But my fear id that some day such things will cease to come my way
I’m lost
Can’t find me
by
Shenequa Sylvan
Mom sits thinking about her girls and her boys,
reminiscing days the floor was covered with toys.
Remembering the tiny bootees and the little shoes,
remembering all the gurgles and the little coos.
When you said your first word she was so proud,
and was beside herself when you laughed out loud.
When you cut your first tooth and began to crawl,
she just couldn’t wait to give all the kinfolk a call.
She misses singing you lullabies in her old rocking chair,
as she looks at your baby book and your first lock of hair.
Those crew haircuts, pony tails, and the dog eared locks,
the cowboy boots, and penny loafers, and little bobby socks.
She misses the fingerprints found all over the wall,
the coats and the mittens that hung in the hall.
The paper dolls, and toy cars, and the little trikes,
and when you were older the two wheel bikes.
How you looked forward to each and every New Year,
although you fell asleep before it was near.
The pictures you brought her that you drew in school,
the words that you used like awesome and cool.
The Valentine cards you made all by yourself,
the Barbie dolls and models that set on a shelf.
St. Patrick’s Day when your clothes were all greens,
your little chairs that were stuffed full of beans.
The Easter suits and the dresses covered with lace,
colored eggs and stuffed bunnies all over the place.
Flowery weeds that you gave her on Mother’s Day,
and hearing your footsteps as you run out to play.
Father’s Day and the things you made for your dad,
those gifts were the most precious that he ever had.
Then going to the carnival and watching you ride,
watching you at the park as you went down the slide.
The picnics with peanut butter and jelly on bread,
hearing you say your prayers before going to bed.
Taking you Trick or Treating Halloween night,
trying to juggle all the bags and a huge flashlight.
Thanksgiving dinners when everyone was still home,
the house seems so empty now that you are all grown.
Seeing the happiness that spread across your little face,
as you ate Christmas dinner after you had said grace.
Blowing out all the candles on your birthday cake,
tightly closing your eyes for the wishes you’d make.
Watching you open gifts covered with paper and bows,
placing every card that you got very neatly in rows.
These are just a few things remembered by your mother,
she remembers all your childhood at one time or another.
She misses the goodnight hugs and the goodnight kisses,
there are thousands of things that she really misses.
by
Cowgirl Mom
I was six months old and full of fun,
with a blink of your eye, I was suddenly one.
There were so many things we were going to do,
but when you turned your head, I turned two.
At two I was very dependent on you,
but independence took over when I turned three.
My third birthday was another year
you tried to ignore,
but when the candles were lit,
there weren’t three but four.
Four was the year that I really strived,
but with a turn of your back, I became five.
At five I was ready for rules
and told this is the year I go to school.
The big day came, and I was anxious
but scared to go.
You walked me to my room going oh, so slow.
With a gentle smile, you said,
"I’ll see you in PE".
As the years came and went,
along with friends fads, and boyfriends,
you were in the background watching over me.
Soon we stepped into my teenage years,
which started the days of mouthing off
and learning to drive,
and suddenly you wished
I was five all over again.
Time goes so fast it is so hard to believe,
that just yesterday I was home with you.
And tomorrow when I come home
and walk through the door,
you will remember the day
I was wearing my cap and gown
and think how did I grow up so fast.
With a nod of your head,
you watched me walk down the aisle
and across the stage.
Then, with a wave of your hand,
three months later you sent me off to college
to find my way.
Now, today I am not six months old
and full of fun anymore,
I’m almost twenty-one.
With graduation approaching,
I have the world, the city, and my job
waiting on me.
It’s so hard to believe I’ve come this far.
But without you and dad, I wouldn’t be here
and where I am now.
So hold these moments as hard as you can,
because the next time you look,
it won’t be just me,
you’ll also be seeing a man.
by
Amy Reynolds
When I was little and I cried
You lovingly held me, and let the last tear fall,
When I would scrape my knee
You’d bandage it up and say "be careful".
When my birthday was horrible, you smiled
And promised the next would be perfect.
When I would lose my temper,
You had a way to calm me down.
When my friends left me behind,
You gave me ice cream and said
"they’ll come around"
When I had a nightmare
You’d tuck me in your bed and
Reassured me you’d never let harm find me.
When my 7th grade crush liked another,
You made me see it was his loss.
When it was my sweet 16
You threw me a party fit for a princess.
And made it a day I would always remember.
When the love of my life left me alone,
So sweetly you said, "This too shall pass."
When I broke your heart with disappointment
You came to me and said, "I still love you".
I know that you think that I forgot all this,
And take all you sacrificed for granted,
But that’s just not true.
At times I’m stubborn, as well as you,
But never doubt for half a second that
I love you.
Although I am growing up and someday soon,
I’ll have to bandage my own knee,
You’ll always be the bet mother.
And I’ll always be your little girl.
by
Nicole Garcia
I remember
the green freeze pops,
hugs that never stopped!
The games of kickball,
the light left on for me in the hall.
The trips to the game farm,
the times you kept me from harm.
Whenever I needed you,
it was your shoulder I turned to.
The hospital care,
you in a wheelchair.
The feeling that you weren’t ok,
the days you couldn’t come out to play.
I was told on a cold winter day
that you had forever gone away.
The funeral room full of fears,
Grampa’s eyes full of tears.
Everyone at my house,
there was no shoulder,
tears fell on my blouse.
The pain I felt,
all of it still I haven’t dealt.
I wish I could’ve said good- bye,
maybe now I wouldn’t cry.
I know you loved me,
why couldn’t you stay?
I still miss you to
this day.
Grandma – I love you.
by
Amanda
I’m opening my presents in front of the tree,
Dad, and I look over to your chair
I look at the emptiness, Dad, the space,
and become sad because you’re not there
Summer comes along with my birthday,
Dad, and you aren’t there with a big grin
My competitions come and go, Dad,
you aren’t there to see me win
I go into your room one day,
Dad, and look at your empty drawers.
I go and visit you one day, Dad,
and I see you, but the soul isn’t yours
I feel you, and see you,
and touch you and smell you.
But you can’t think, or drive, or work
or be my dad like you always used to.
Why did this happen, Dad?
I know that no answer will fit right.
I wish you could still be here Dad,
I wish you didn’t lose the fight.
Why is God making you suffer,
Dad, I’d really like to know.
I get to see your body and it tears me up inside,
I visit you and then I have to go.
I see your body, but yet it’s not you,
and that’s the hardest of them all.
No one understands, they think you are still alive,
they don’t get why I always bawl.
Its like you die over and over,
Dad, it is like a tease,
A constant reminder of something I can’t have,
I am begging you please!
Don’t treat me this way,
God, I want my Dad back
Dad, if you’re listening from wherever you are,
my life is perfect, but you I lack.
You are still here, so I don’t know
whether you are watching from Heaven above
Maybe your soul is there,
but either way, I send you my love.
by
Alana
Love was not enough for us,
Though we were much in love.
We started down the well-worn path,
But it was not to be.
Delight was not enough for us,
Nor tenderness that moved
Through years of angry dissonance
Towards some dark, bitter sea.
Our differences were far too great,
Our lives too far apart.
We didn’t like each other much,
But put that truth aside
Until one day it was too late
To reignite the heart.
One told the other, who agreed
At last that it had died.
But then, ah, then! we felt our loss
As unremitting pain,
As deep and inconsolable,
Unbearable regret.
And all alone we had to cross
That desert once again
That we might know that we had loved
Too much to soon forget.
That Single, Solitary Grain of Sand
sticks to the sandal that tread upon it.
Feels elated; it has finally found a way to
escape
it’s lifelong confinement
on that one beach.
It is now free to roam
Not as the wind once took it;
but anywhere that sandal may go.
And as time goes on that little grain
will move deeper and deeper
into the recess of that sandal.
Clinging on
even through the bumpy patches
and the occasional puddle.
That speck of sand will see numerous other beaches
see other specks of sand
and, of course, be thrown around many a time.
And that sandy dot will stay firmly in place
until the day you figure it’s time to clean those sandals,
gently washing away their unneeded cargo
onto the hard, black world of the pavement outside your doorstep.
But here is a world more closely connected to civilization
where any one sandal can pass by
and unknowingly carry this vulnerable little gem
through another journey of it’s life.
by
Stephanie Collins
My thoughts are wrapped around you
…does this keep you warm?
My words are all about you
…does this make you proud?
I love you because you give me freedom
The freedom of artistic expression
You stimulate my senses
You set my soul free
You cause a sudden surge in my urge to carelessly splurge sweet words on you
Is it the pleasure from your treasures?
Or your melodic rhythm?
Is it the confidence in your fearlessness?
Or the perfect sway of your unique beauty?
You leave me wanting more…………..Poetry
by
mukhtar tijani
All I ever wanted was to love you
As when I saw you first from far away.
But then it was my sweet mistake to have you
Too young to hold the demons long at bay.
For years I hated you, for only hate
Could cauterize the wounds that would not heal,
And gorged myself on fantasies to sate
A hunger I could neither suage nor feel.
Eventually, we both found other loves
And settled into other lives. And yet
The past like some unquiet ghost still moves
Within, too fraught with longing to forget.
We have moved on, as is mature and wise.
But love, though long abandoned, never dies.
