The Football Match
I.
O wild kaleidoscopic panorama of jaculatory arms and legs.
The twisting, twining, turning, tussling, throwing, thrusting,
throttling, tugging, thumping, the tightening thews.
The tearing of tangled trousers, the jut of giant calves protuberant.
The wriggleness, the wormlike, snaky movement and life of it;
The insertion of strong men in the mud, the wallowing, the stamping with thick shoes;
The rowdyism, and élan, the slugging and scraping, the cowboy Homeric ferocity.
(Ah, well kicked, red legs! Hit her up, you muddy little hero, you!)
The bleeding noses, the shins, the knuckles abraded:
That’s the way to make men! Go it, you border ruffians, I like ye.
II.
Only two sorts of men are any good, I wouldn’t give a cotton hat for no other —
The Poet and the Plug Ugly. They are picturesque. O, but ain’t they?
These college chaps, these bouncing fighters from M’Gill and Toronto,
Are all right. I must have a fighter, a bully, somewhat of a desperado;
Of course, I prefer them raw, uneducated, unspoiled by book rot;
I reckon these young fellows, these howling Kickapoos of the puddle, these boys,
Have been uneducated to an undemocratic and feudal-aristocratic extent;
Lord! how they can kick, though! Another man slugged there!
III.
Unnumbered festoons of pretty Canadian girls, I salute you;
Howl away, you non-playing encouragers of the kickers!
Rah, Rah, Rah, Rah, Rah, Rah, M’Gill!
Rah, Rah, Rah, Sis, Boom, Toronto! Lusty-throated give it!
O, wild, tumultuous, multitudinous shindy. Well, this is the boss;
This is worth coming twenty miles to see. Personally, I haven’t had so much fun
since I was vaccinated.
I wonder if the Doctor spectates it. Here is something beyond his plesiosauri.
Pure physical glow and exultation this of abundantest muscle:
I wish John Sullivan were here.
IV.
O, the kicking, stamping, punching, the gore and the glory of battle!
Kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick. Will you kick!
You kickers, scoop up the mud, steam plough the field,
Fall all over yourselves, squirm out! Look at that pile-driver of a full-back there!
Run, leg it, hang on to the ball; say, you big chump, don’t you kill that little chap
When you are about it.
Well, I’d like to know what a touch down is, then? Draw?
Where’s your draw?
Yer lie!
